Facts

* 73 More days until September 30th

* The flight to Kenya from Wisconsin is approximately 30hrs.

* Tanzania has 26 regions

* Reminder** Make list for packing

The Light of My Life

There is really something about when you completely stop doing something your passionate about that leaves a void. Lately especially, I have been craving a good writing session. I suppose the fulfillment lacks there due to my busy schedule and the uncontrollable speed of time. Getting closer, and closer, to graduation I envision myself having more time to write.

My brain has been on the verge of overloading many times in the recent months, I have so many moments where I'm like "AH! That's it! That's how I'll start my book!" Then, it's gone, on to the next thing. "AH! That's what the future holds!" (Right)

My devotion to my baby girl puts me in awe every day. I've yearned to be a mother forever it's just funny, what better time then now, when everything else is going on that's when life has the most surprises. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, embracing the feeling that literally in less than 4.5 months I will have a degree, only makes the light shine brighter right in front of me. Someone find me some sunglasses that fit the occasion...  Make 'em Shiny ones too.

I have no clue how many readers I still have for this Blog. All I do know is through this program and the hectic life I've been living I'm really finding my way. Soon enough a Creative Visionary will be reborn... Did I mention with a degree!!

Ailments

If we as humans allow ailments to control us we turn into fearful, corrupted, and miserable beings. When I met someone I knew nothing else but fearlessness. I looked forward to the next adventure as if it were the next chapter in life. Now that there is fear everything that lingers in the air for longer than a second I find myself distrusting where we are headed.

Whether I am baking, cooking, opening a window, or want to spray anything (including perfume or light candles) you scatter. Repenting so, I advise you you're over reacting, reassure you you are strong, and encourage you that anything can be overcome. However you rebel in saying nothing without a cure can be overcome, and get unbearably irritable to the point where I disappear into solitude.

Picturing us so far from where you will find yourself five years from now, if the way of thinking does not change and adapt to a more positive way of a life, or even one year from now, it hurts. My heart aches imagining our lives without you, and the thought that you have allowed something to make you so weak leaves love powerless. I am a firm believer that ailments can be overcome. Right down to the panic, anxiety, and inability to breathe at all can overcome anything you set your mind to.

More importantly I see a point being missed, every moment you dodge something you fear it and think it will kill you instantly. Life never happens the way you would expect it. Try and reverse your thinking in a way that will allow your brain to say, "I'm not dead until I'm done fighting with my positive way of thinking." Or, "Nothing can kill me the way I think I'm going to die life's not that sympathetic and simple."

When I reflect on all the years in my life, that's what gets me over being afraid, and that's what helped me overcome situations I didn't even think were possible getting through. Although, my age may not be as ripe as yours there is an even comparison/perspective. Everyone lives there lives through experiences and from what I can tell... You and I are two opposites alike.

Unpublished

I find myself writing this post with every intention to leave it unpublished. My mind is in a cumbersome state and it helps to keep the consciousness stream flowing. I have to say most of my frustrations come from lacking something. Caress, finesse, and for both words lacking to be better describing how I'm really feeling Unloved.

Physically, I have to admit my body has changed. Everyone said it would happen and I suppose I never envisioned it feeling this way. Unsettled, dissatisfied, and down right weak. These feelings are unfortunate, you see, on the inside I feel like my old self. I still go through the daily mind steps to exercise, eat right, well kind of. My body craves certain things I cannot fully control.

Sugar, comforts, energy.

Allowing it to become ambitious and do things like register for a Turkey Trott and then eat an endless buffet meal following it on Thanks Giving. Guilt is perhaps another word to describe my daily feelings. I need more releases, more adrenaline to approach my daily tasks. Some things get my heart pumping, but very few can do it as rapidly as I need.

They're all just excuses. Every last sentence I come up with mentioning how this is for this, and that must be that way for that. Do I feel like I could run five miles? Not necessarily physically, but mentally? Can I swim more than 500 yards without taking an intermission? No, not right now. Could I before the baby? Yes, at one time.

How can I bring myself back to the time when I once felt great? Record myself dancing again, find a place to meditate, run to destinations, stretch, swim only on days off, and stop thinking in some way sugar will further my metabolism burning any fat at all. It won't.

Reality Check!

Stationery card

Garden Of Girl Birth Announcement

Shutterfly cards for Valentine's Day, Easter & Father's Day.

View the entire collection of cards.

Johnny Cupcakes

Since I was twelve years old I invented a dream for my future to eventually own my own greeting card company. There are many ways "All About Cake & Frosting" gets inspired being my future greeting card company. Since inventing the dream it has grown magnanimously into not only a card label, but, two characters in a children's book Cake & Frosting, as well as, a sponsor to an annual arts festival with a sanctuary for homeopathic healing.

There is always a simple way to start any big dream, and the greeting card part of my dream is the simple way All About Cake & Frosting will start. Just like Baz Luhrman makes a simple analogy to Sunscreen and the meanings to life. I also can parallel All About Cake & Frosting to meanings to life too. For example you cannot have a cake without frosting or it would just be a loaf of bread, or a muffin. Just like you cannot have a present without a card, if you do it's just a box with something inside, or nothing really meaningful at all.

Next Journey

Since putting Redemption Climb on stand by some things have changed. The one year anniversary from climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro hascome and passed. Slowly,but surely, a Bachelors in Entertainment Business is being attained, and I am subtly making plans to move

to Full Sail University's campus in March this coming year.

Seeing how my first journey to Mt. Kilimanjaro started off with a six month countdown, I am planning in the next six months to have a solid beginning to a post graduate plan with another countdown. I found out some very big news this past Thursday, and I'm not sure how I will proceed. It is always a big decision when deciding to take a new journey, and especially if you are planning to journey with someone new.

With the holidays coming I'm praying for some clarity to reveal itself to me. It is my only concern that with making travels that have such an impact on your life with a significant other- it can either make or break your relationship. When I moved to Grand Cayman, I moved alone. When I started at Full Sail University I was alone. Is it only understandable that I feel instinctually obligated to complete my mission in a career alone?

No one really plans on love. No one even hopes to be captivated by love all the time. But now, love has plans for me, and love is captivating all of my time. I feel the urge to scare it away (not just because it's Halloween), and I feel an inkling to run. Perhaps these feelings

are an act of selfishness desire that paints an imaginative picture of me having a successful career before a successful love life.